Miss Dimity was just the other day treated to an unsettling anecdote by an acquaintance. It seems this lady, who is in the early-to-middle stages of her first pregnancy, was attending a business luncheon with some other ladies, where sandwiches and soup were served. As the lady in question is pregnant, she therefore is experiencing a greater-than-average metabolic load and must eat well—and often—to keep up her strength. She had consumed two of the little sandwiches and was reaching for a third when a woman at her elbow abruptly advised her, “You had better slow down or by the time you give birth, you’ll need to join Weight Watchers!”
Miss Dimity’s acquaintance was shocked; so was Miss Dimity upon hearing about such an outré piece of unasked-for commentary on another’s eating habits! What business is it of another how many tiny sandwiches one consumes? Was the woman at her elbow her personal dietician? No? Then it was her business to keep her mouth shut! Miss Dimity abhors the sorts of women who go about commenting on other people’s behaviour, other people’s eating, and other people’s things. Such comments do nothing to foster goodwill among women, and all but destroy any feeling of sisterhood that one might have otherwise enjoyed.
Miss Dimity’s advice is this: if you think someone is eating too much, keep it to yourself. If the object of your disapproval is a lady “in an interesting condition” (as the French say), staple your own lips closed before you blurt one unkind word! Unless you are currently with child, and enjoying the backache, sore feet, fluid retention and other, less salutary aspects of the condition, you have no business offering commentary.
Indeed, unless specifically asked (i.e., “Do you think I ought to have another sandwich, Penelope? Or are seventeen quite sufficient?”) what another woman is eating is none of your business. Miss Dimity cannot stress this enough: in this day and age, unsolicited commentary and overt familiarity with those to whom we have not been introduced is a faux pas of the highest order, committed only by those without the slightest notion of etiquette or appropriate behaviour. A real lady makes it her business to set all in her presence at ease; that is the essence of manners!
As Miss Dimity advised her friend, there is only one correct response to such an ignorant piece of commentary: “Why yes, my dear! Perhaps you and I can join together.”
